According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in America (https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/). In 2017 alone, 47,173 people took their own life and it is estimated that 1,400,000 people attempted suicide. I personally have a mental health condition known as Fear of Harm Bipolar. This has been life altering for myself since the age of nine where I started exploring self-harm via blunt and sharp objects. My life became very difficult with relationships at this age, and it only worsened with time. By the age of twelve, before I had entered seventh grade, I had almost shot myself with a gun pointed at myself and was ready for life to be over before turning thirteen. This was due to a stressful childhood and chemical imbalance. I could not regularly attend school because my anxiety was unmanageable and suicidal thoughts made being productive feeling like an impossible task. I became very depressed and missed months of middle school and building strong friendships was a challenge. I was misdiagnose several times and could not get adequate medication for my health condition. In my freshmen year of high school, I had begun the process of trial and error prescriptions for psychotropic drugs to see which worked, making functioning in life very difficult. Over the course of five months, the medicine only made things worse and I was hospitalized two times for mental health reasons and could not finish my freshman year. This was a downward spiral of continuing this trial and error method, and by the time I was going into the summer before my junior year, I attended an outpatient hospital for three months. After being released and about to attend my fourth high school, I started out strong, but began to quickly spiral downwards until I could no longer attend school. My parents divorced during this time of my life as well. I had been suicidal from aged nine to sixteen and found no significant relief from medication. This is where Ketamine came into my life. People who are fear of harm Bipolar are unanimously treatment resistant to the vast majority of psychiatric drugs, and my psychiatrist at the time recommended Ketamine. I began treatment in the early winter of my junior year and immediately noticed a difference. School became easier to attend regularly and it felt like I could somewhat control my emotions. I began to rage less, and suicidal ideation slowly drifted away. My senior year I left the specialized school I attended during my junior year, and was more motivated than ever to be accepted into college. I started running start in the spring and was accepted into Eastern Washington University during that spring. To my understanding, I was the clinic’s first patient and since, have received 35 treatments and I honestly don’t know where I would be today without this treatment. I am a full time student now with aspirations in my future. I am no longer suicidal, and find my emotions much easier to control. Ketamine can be a scary thing to start, I personally sobbed once I completed a treatment for the first ten sessions, but the benefits are more than worth it. Tina Gordon administers my treatments and I have never felt better taken care by any other medical professional in my life. I highly recommend Spokane’s very own Ketamine Clinic if you are treatment resistant to the regular prescription drugs a psychiatrist would administer. I can personally say I think there is a very likely chance I would have taken my life without the introduction of Ketamine. Whether suffering from PTSD, chronic depression, severe anxiety, or a mood disorder, Ketamine could be for you, but one thing that is certain from my experience is this can not only be life changing, but the needed step to reclaim control over your own life. -L. J. T.